


Waluigi is Da Bomb

by nie_fertig



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bombs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nie_fertig/pseuds/nie_fertig
Summary: So my friend and I were playing Mario Kart months ago and I was, of course,  Waluigi, but for some reason, almost every item I collected was a bomb during our races. So then I wanted to write a short story about Waluigi with freakin bombs and what he would do with them (like threatening Nintendo to let him play in Smash and have his own game).
Relationships: Waluigi & Wario (Nintendo)
Kudos: 5





	Waluigi is Da Bomb

Since Waluigi isn’t called in to play many Mario games like most other characters, Waluigi is usually bored out of his mind. On one of his usual, boring days, Waluigi was walking by himself. He was scheming how he could get Nintendo’s attention and get himself his own game…

“W A H - it’s not fair! I  _ need _ my own game! Even Toad, the freakin’ little gremlin, has his own game!! And what do I do? Race karts and play tennis! I mean, they’re both fun, but I’m-a not even in Smash!!” Waluigi groaned in defeat (HHHHhhh) and kicked whatever was in front of him. He thought it was a black rock and he kicked it in annoyance during his stroll, but he was stunned when it exploded in the air. He looked around his surroundings and realized he wandered into Bob-omb Battlefield. It was very easy to go from world to world in the Mario universe without even realizing it. Seeing all the little, black bombs wander back and forth gave Waluigi an idea! 

“I think it’s time to be explosive and blow up in Nintendo’s face!  Heh, hehehehe!” 

Waluigi ran back through the many universes until he ended up in the Smash universe with hundreds of different and unique environments shown above. Wario had just finished a brawl against Captain Falcon when Waluigi arrived. He saw Captain Falcon storm away from Wario, but cry in annoyance towards Wario:

“Next time,  _ please _ don’t bite my fucking ass, you  _ greedy dirtbag _ !” Wario chuckled in amusement until he noticed Waluigi come up to him. 

“Ah, how are you, my good friend? I’m-a still pissed that you’re still not in Smash, but Nintendo will change their minds, you’ll see.” 

“Oh, they will!” Waluigi said confidently, crossing his lanky arms. Wario smirked and said

“I know that glint in your eyes! You have a naughty scheme in mind!” 

“Wario! We’re gonna chuck bombs at Nintendo until they let me in! Especially since I’m-a number one with mankind!” Wario gave a hearty laugh and said

“I love you Waluigi, you always have the best scheme ideas.” 

“Aww, thanks bro! _[AN: I know they're not canonically brothers, but you can't change my mind that they call each other 'bro']_ But seriously, let’s-a go grab some bombs from Bob-omb Battlefield and threaten Nintendo until they let me be-a number one!” 

Wario and Waluigi went to Bob-omb Battlefield with a giant cart they stole from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (and not a  _ k _ art, like a wooden cart). They collected as many bombs as they could without exploding them...although one bomb blew up in Wario’s face when he picked it up, Waluigi laughing at him hysterically, then the bomb Waluigi was holding blew up in his face as well, so Wario started laughing at him. They had fun and they even went up to Big Bob-omb and asked him if they could have more bombs for their scheme. 

“Because you have an explosive plan, I will grant you one million bombs. I’m doing this  _ only _ because of your plan - both of your awfully fantastic mustaches say otherwise.” And thus, Wario and Waluigi heaved their way back towards the Nintendo headquarters with a cart full of a million black bombs.

They  _ eventually _ made it to the headquarters after traveling through many different games. Although on their way, Mario and Luigi tried to stop them when they reached the Super Mario Bros. Wii. But after many explosions and bonks on the head from Mario and Luigi later, Waluigi and Wario miraculously made it out alive and with some surviving bombs in their wooden cart! If they hadn’t jumped into their cart like the cowards they are, they wouldn’t have gone on a fast roller coaster ride on the  _ many  _ rotating hills and escaped from the Mario-favored land. Even though they escaped, they were still thousands of bombs less (really, they threw that many) and their heads ached after being jumped on several times. 

_ Anyway _ , once they reached the Nintendo headquarters, Waluigi and Wario rode their cart into the first floor of the skyscraper, shattering the glass windows on impact, and immediately throwing lit bombs at the employees inside. The employees ran for their lives, terrified at the anti-heroes who were having the time of their lives.

Once many of the employees on the first floor were out of the building, the friends noticed the elevator that led up to the CEO. Waluigi and Wario wheeled the cart into the massive elevator (it was massive so characters like Bowser and King Dedede could go up if they needed to talk. Especially since there’s a helpful therapy treatment just for villains on the 15th floor) and hit the button to the top floor (it didn’t have a number, it was literally called the top floor even though it wasn’t the roof). While waiting in the elevator, Wario looked up at Waluigi and said

“Whatever happens, I’m-a proud of you that you’re standing up for yourself. You really deserve better, Waluigi.” Waluigi smiled and could feel his emotions take over him. He hugged his good friend and said

“Thank you for being by my side, Wario. You’re the best friend any anti-hero sidekick could have.” Before the two could cry due to being sentimental towards one another, the elevator stopped in place. They quickly let go of each other, put on their bad guy personas, and grabbed a bomb from the cart to start chucking at people. The elevator door opened and the anti-heroes sprung out with their cart but were shocked to find...no one. The floor full of offices and meeting rooms was completely deserted. 

“Wah, where is everyone??” Waluigi cried out loud. Suddenly, all of the office walls collapsed outward as if it was a paper box. On the other side, the background was as white as this document (minus the black words of course) and there were almost all of the Nintendo employees, all looking _ furious _ . Mario and Luigi also stood beside the annoyed CEO. 

“Mario and Luigi told us your entire scheme-” The CEO started, but Wario mumbled to Waluigi,

“ I told you not to yap on about what our scheme was .”

“ But all iconic villains recite their schemes to their enemies! ” The CEO cleared his throat loudly and angrily, capturing Wario and Waluigi’s attention. 

“I’m glad our architects were able to build this false floor in case something like this were to happen. We’re obviously not going to let you two continue blowing up the Nintendo headquarters, even though you already caused a lot of damage on the first floor, which you two  _ will _ pay for-” Wario cried as if he was stabbed in the heart. Waluigi gently placed his hand on his greedy friend’s back to show support. The CEO sighed and said

“We’re now going to confiscate your bombs and return them back to Big Bob-omb for future battles with Mario. Our therapist is still located on the 15th floor if you’d like to talk to her. Otherwise,  _ please _ leave the headquarters immediately. If we catch you again with another harmful scheme to Nintendo, there will be serious consequences.” 

“C’mon, Waluigi, I don’t want them to  _ sue _ us!” Wario said fearfully. Wario headed back to the elevator, but Waluigi stood in his place. 

“But...it’s-a not fair!” Waluigi cried towards the CEO, Nintendo employees, and Mario bros. Wario turned around, concerned for his friend. The CEO looked irritated and said

“I  _ said _ if you need therapy-”

“No! I deserve my own game, damn it! I was created 20 years ago and in those 20 years, I’ve never once had my own game! Waluigi, go play a party, Waluigi, go play golf, Waluigi, you’re once again not invited to Smash! WAH - I’M DONE AGREEING WITH BEING A SIDE CHARACTER!  _ PLEASE _ GIVE ME MY OWN GAME!! LET ME FIGHT! GIVE ME A CHANCE!!” The CEO was about to motion security to force Wario and Waluigi to leave the premise, but Luigi tugged the bottom of the CEO’s black suit and was able to say

“Eh, Mr.Furukawa, sir? Can I say something first?” 

“What is it, Luigi?” 

“I...I understand Waluigi’s pain. I wasn’t given my own game until 18 years after I was created. It hurt to be in Mario’s shadow and to be forgotten about.” Mario put his hand on his brother’s shoulder, looking concerned for his saddened brother,

“I think Waluigi deserves his own game, sir.” A Nintendo employee chimed in and said

“Yeah! Why  _ isn’t _ Waluigi in Smash, boss?! You  _ know _ the world has been  _ dying _ to play and fight as him!” The employees started to mumble amongst themselves, all agreeing that having a game where Waluigi is the main character would be entertaining. Waluigi was glad to hear everyone was on his side. The murmur didn’t stop until the CEO cried

“ENOUGH!” A heavy and dreading silence filled the air, everyone waiting for what the CEO was about to say next. 

“...I’ll think about it. Our consumers  _ have _ been talking highly about Waluigi recently...very well, we’ll let you know, Waluigi. In the meantime,  _ please don’t try and bomb us again _ .” 

“You got it!” Waluigi said happily as he headed towards the elevator with Wario. 

“Waluigi, you mad lad!” Wario said, patting Waluigi on the back, almost knocking him over, 

“If you had just angrily confronted the CEO, none of this woulda happened! We didn’t have to collect bombs for hours, fight Mario and Luigi, and heave a heavy cart through different worlds. I wouldn’t have to give away my precious coins!!” 

“Yeah, sorry about that! I’ll pay for the damage. I know how much coins mean to you.” Wario hugged Waluigi, lifting him off his feet and almost crushing him. 

“Aww, thanks bro! Even though our scheme was a lot of work, it was still a lot of fun!” Once Wario let Waluigi go, he sighed in relief and said

“I agree. It’s always a pleasure scheming with you, Wario. And thank you for supporting me, you’re da bomb!”

“Nuh-uh, you’re da bomb, Waluigi! You literally blew up back there in the headquarters! Maybe you were the perfect bomb you were searching for all along.”

“Well, I did want to blow up in Nintendo’s face...and I guess I-a did!” Waluigi was proud of himself for standing up and explaining himself to Nintendo. 

And a year later, the first Waluigi-centered game was released (p.s. one of his special moves is throwing bombs at enemies)! 

The End!


End file.
